![]() ![]() It didn't take long before Lottie hit me with a sly dig in front of our new pal, made all the more cutting by her decision to use my fake name, Slag. Instead, we got Marisol, a fictional woman who cites Amal Clooney, human rights lawyer Amal Clooney, as her style icon. ![]() I prayed that a hairdresser would enter the equation. I quickly learned that Lottie was full of shit and Hannah needed her split ends eradicated as soon as possible. I could feel these fictional girls judging me almost instantly, but I didn't care because their postures were trash and would likely lead to severe lower back problems down the line.Ī few more girls were introduced, all excruciatingly thinner than the last because even in AI form, the Love Island remains closed to bodies that are less than perfect and hairstyles that fail to achieve a salon finish at home. She wanted more information which frankly I wasn't prepared to give away at such an early stage in our friendship.Ĭutting a little too close to the bone, I settled for 'I play games online' because tragically in that very moment I was playing a game online. Lottie, classic Lottie was out for blood. True to the spirit of Love Island and all who inhabit it, obviously I told my new friend Lottie that I was a social media influencer, which wasn't technically a lie because one time I uploaded an Instagram post that got 52 likes and also Zayn Malik once liked then immediately unliked a tweet of mine for just long enough that I got the notification.īut that wasn't enough. To me, basically a child, that is very funny.Īt this point I was faced with some multiple-choice answer options to field Lottie's queries. Imagine during the real Love Island as the girls were all meeting each other for the first time, one of them just casually said "What about you, Slag?" to her fellow contestant whose name was actually Tracy. Lottie quickly wanted to know what I do, but more importantly, her phrasing of the question gave me that sweet first hit of hilarity that I craved when I chose this particular name. Also, fun fact, 'slagroom' is Dutch for whipped cream.īefore long, a new player entered the arena, with a stance even more intimidating than Hope's. To be called a slag is bad, but to deem yourself one before anyone else can is lowkey revolutionary. ![]() It's a bad word, but it's about time we reclaimed it and took away the power it holds over us all. Still whet for banter, I went for a semi-unacceptable name, one that the database wouldn't pick up straight away as being overtly explicit, one that stuck with me since I was 8 years old and heard it being used as a very tame insult on EastEnders. Anyone that is legally named Bitch will suffer the same fate with this game, so it's worth giving your Mum a heads-up before she downloads it (lol). Unfortunately, so did the game because it forbid me from inputting my name as 'Bitch', sadly. ![]()
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